憂鬱的我

也不是我不能接受他人的評語或勸告，但有些話出自特定的人口裡，殺傷力總是來得特別強。管他是有心或無意，或是說我太敏感也好，想太多也罷，心，痛也痛過了；這一天，毀也毀掉了。

我不喜歡說更不喜歡聽『還有我們』這種屁話。既然說出口了就是承諾，辦不到的就叫做謊言。那種輕易讓人安心最後卻要人心痛得要死的話語聽多了自然會膩，然後有免疫。因為到最後，我始終是一個人。一個人就是一個人。

Whatever you say, I am still alone.

或許是我付出的努力還不夠多不夠明顯，但我不希望我的用心到最後卻是沒被看見的。當然，很多時候的失誤得到大家的體量我是很感動，只是這一次的無意言語，卻在我心上重重打下一個很深很深的洞。

我很容易受傷，你知道的。

但如果說只有熟悉的程度才能夠讓人在心靈上達到某種共識，那我也不能全怪你，因為我們離熟悉還有一段距離。

一段很遠的距離。

Friends don't need words, they feel.

我不知道還能夠繼續這樣待多久，反正累到撐不下去，心就會告訴我該怎麼做。

Yea，是怕到累。

選擇

想與不想
做與不做
那是一念之間的差距
卻可以帶來如天地間距般的結果

那是一種選擇
在理性與感性之間
在應該與不應該之間
在要與不要之間

既然提到選擇
自然就免不了失去
擇其一而失其二
這是世間倫理
也是人之常情

因此我們習慣著得與失的重複發生
關鍵只在乎做了選擇之後
天平會朝哪個方向傾斜

你得得多？
抑或失得多？

屁話！
若是有個答案
誰還會在乎做選擇的徬徨與焦慮？
如果所有答案擺在眼前
還有誰會做了不該做的選擇？

正因沒有答案
選擇
才成了一種辛苦的差事
當然 也是一種充滿刺激的苦差事

但
正因為沒有答案
我們更不需要思考那麼多

跟著感覺走吧
即便這會使崎嶇的路
顯得更崎嶇

可這樣的崎嶇
不就能讓我們的路更刻骨銘心嗎？

年輕人嘛～
總需要一些能夠記一輩子的事

反正
青春就是拿來耗的
因為我們輸得起

Bottleneck in My Study

Midterm has just finished and the worst day of my life begins. Getting a warning in my academic study for the first time doesn't really feel good. The second I saw the red words occurring on my monitor, I was so stunned that I did not know what to do. I didn't even know what to feel.

Damn, I burnt midnight oil for the first time in my uni life to study for this文字學, yet this is what I get in return. Failing in the midterm exams!!! Never in my life have I experienced such failure that could almost tore me apart. I did try hard (okay maybe not hard enough ==), but I did not do well.What the hell is wrong with my answers??? Haiz, I don't even get to know because the lecturer never plans to give us back our papers~~~ So how do I know my mistakes? Nevermind, let bygones be bygones. I'll just have to try harder in my finals to pass this subject (which I think I'll fail to do so too ==)

Hmm, in case nobody knows what 文字學 is about, I'll just do a brief explanation right here. It is about study of Chinese Words like 甲骨文 and 金文. Yep, another way of committing suicide. == But amateur like me has yet to reach that high level in the study, so I am still at 楷體 and 小篆 part, which is the words we are using nowadays and the latest ancient words used by our ancestors respectively. (小篆 becomes the words used officially during Dynasty Qin.)

I am already having headache just mentioning the categories of the words. ==

Tadaa~~~ a little bit of my 'artwork'

Although I kinda like this kind of study, the fact that I have to sit for exams for such thing is killing me. I really can't stand memorizing the words for one whole night but still can't write it properly the next morning. That's called stupidity, for me. == How can I not remember all the details for only so few words : which lines should touch each other and so on.

Maybe I'm just not talented enough in doing words studies. Haha~but since this is a compulsory subject, I still have to suck it up (after grieving for my pathetic results) and pass it no matter how!!! C'mon, just a 'pass' would be enough nowadays. Haha.