So it's me 'vomiting'

It really is complicated.... I thought I'd be more than happy... things were going quite well to be frank... but then I didn't feel one bit of delight... what would it be, except for the fact that my dear friend was rejected while I was accepted. This kinda bring the supposed-to-be-delightful atmosphere down... but what to do? Don't you feel your friend's gloomy feeling? Can you actually dance and laugh happily to that?

So... everything is about to change today. My timetable is going to be damn full, my free time, on the other hand, would be squeezed tighter. = = And the worst of all, I can no longer attend most classes together with my dear roommates(which one of them is the friend I mentioned above). Haiz... still think of applying for a double major is fun? Although I have passed both the test and the interview, I can't believe I don't quite feel what I supposed to be feeling... like... well you know... you've been working hard on one thing and then your hard work pays off and then you'd be "Wow the world is indeed a nice place" kind of feel.

NO! None of that exists in me right now~ Instead, I only feel lost. Dang, lost as in lost in the middle of everybody, not belong in any group of people. Is it because of the double major thing? Will it be better after a while? I'm confused and scared >.< How will I face all the new faces in the new classroom? Faces that none I recognize and not familiar with, and don't have a single friendliness in them(I suppose, lol)?

And I can't even spit this out to my roommates~~~ What would she think of this? Will this be me pouring salt on her scar? But who can I go to if not my roommates, the people closest to me in this unfamiliar place? Who can I talk to, if not those living in one same room with me?

But above all, is it me who have too many negative thoughts? Maybe her feeling isn't as deep as I thought it would be. Maybe she is fine.... or maybe she doesn't care that much?

Dang I am lost already... this time in my own thought. Can I stop being so sensitive and just live live naturally as it would go on? Oh oh yeah~ I should practise on that more often.

That's all~ tadaa~